Sunday, July 10, 2011

Can anyone drive me to drink?

Can anyone drive me to drink?

Current mood:bummed

You folks, on the outside, have no idea. If you did, for even a moment, you would shake your head so hard, your necks would break.

Who ever termed the word Anal retentive, must have been working in our Department. I have zero doubt in my mind.

I live in a 'Check in the Box' world. Some chief, generates a report, or a training request; sends out some e-mail blast, and then sits back, and awaits the replies to come back, so that he can put a check in the box: accomplished. Notice that I said nothing about reality, or accountability. Or even common sense. Do this - NOW - so that Ican tell someone else that you did as I was told, sovthat a multitude of checks can be put in a multitude of boxes, justifying their existance. We guys on the low end of the food chain, get it from all directions. We are actually stopped, midstride, in one project, to put a emergency check in a box for another. I have actually been pulled off of numerous projects/duties, so that some e-mail can be sent to say we have 100 per cent immediate compliance. Imagine if the guy cooking the burgers at 5 Guys, just up and walked away from the grill, to wash a window. Same sort of lunacy...

The higher up the food chain the more detatched from reality life gets. Its like a real time Peter Principle exercise morphed into one of those Japanese Kubuki plays.

Where I work, we are beholden to a bunch of people. Inbred, if you will. And our being, depends on their being happy with us, and our allowing them to put their own checks in their own boxes. The Nuclear folks are closely tied in with us. The onsite department, with a functioning ladder truck, is part of their certification requirements. Our relationship with them is superb.

However, or 'but' if you will....

Our ladder is worn out. too many years of too many hard miles driven on roads on the compound, that the roads are completely worn out, have rag babied the thing out. Things reached a head last year, when the ladder just broke. Thin about the car in the Blues Brothers that flies apart, when it is parked at the Assessors office. When the nuc folks found out that the ladder was tits up, in a major fashion, they did what any red blooded super grade's would have done. Picked up a cell phone, and diverted a ladder heading to another post, to us.

However, or 'but' if you will...

The clowns at another part of our happy go lucky Region got word of that, and redirected the ladder from us, to their place. Needless to say the nuc super grades are still plotting and scheming their revenge about that.

Fast forward to yesterday, when the ladder got put on life support, again. Some of our guys went to the post to pick up the ladder that we were supposed to have in the first place, and the damned thing happened. Or so the story goes.

From somewhere, in the deepest darkest part of his ass, one of the major check in the box chiefs proclaimed that we could not have that truck, since it is now a requirement that anyone who drives *ANY* piece of Fire Apparatus is to be EVOC qualified on *that* piece. A nice made up on the fly excuse to keep us from stealing back our truck. Our District Chief was supposed to have blown a gasket when that word came back. And calls were made to the Nuc supergrades, informing them, that they could not meet their requirements now. High level teeth grinding ensued.

This is not the first time this super chief has opened mouth, inserted foot. At my old station, we have a washer/dryer in the upstairs. the units were moved, and that resulted in the exhaust hose being where it could not be reconnected to the dryer. So, whenever it was used, it blew lint all over the upstairs. I got tired of cleaning the mess up, and fixed it. Got a worn out pair of pantyhose, cut one of the legs off, and attached it to the end of the hose. Weeks later, that superchief came to the station, looked around, and wrote a report that we have phallic objects in ouor station, and what the hell were we thinking. I guess the dope has never seen that trick with a dryer vent done before, so he had no idea what was going on.

Instead of taking the thing off, someone tied a short piece of rope with two monkey's fist knots on the ends of it, and draped it over the hose - creating a huge brown dick and ball set.

One day, we had to do a quick move of the truck into the stall, and with all of the confusion going on, we did not get the exhaust system hooked up on it in time, before he walked in. Instead of doing one of those on the spot corrections, he went back to his office, fired off e-mail reporting us for a health and safety violation. That e-mail channeled itself up and down the food chain, and I had to go see the BC and tell him what had hapened. He is like a snake in thegrass. Universally hated with in the department. [And is the same cock breath that instead of doing something about the rampant theft that was going on in the stations, of both personal, and government property, ordered the investigation covered up, so that the Department would not have to answeer to a IG Investigation.]

Going back to the evoc thing. That was some whopper of a story. It hits on many basic levels, depending on who you talk to. They run the gammet from who actually work here, being able to say that we work for idiots, and this proves it, to departments on the outside now being able to say, with a high probability of correctness, you guys work for idiots and this proves it. No matter how, or whoever looks at it, we appear to be idiots. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Sigh. I am lacking in my own needs, it appears. I do not have the required evoc certification, to drive myself to drink. Can anyone give me a ride?

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