I swear. Guys cannot catch a f'ing break. Its bad enough that in my lifetime the Politically Correct Nazi's will have boobs, knockers, tis, jugs, hangers, funbags, and all of the other guy word stricken from the dictionaries, like they have disappeared from casual talk. Oh, thats not enough. They won't be happy till Barbie looks like Olive Oyl.
I heard a blurb about this story on the radio today, and I thought this has to be too good to be true. Each 38's give me 38 seconds of restful thoughts? Each 36's gives me a slower heartrate? Have I died and gone to heaven? Had I been practicing a healthy lifestyle while I continued to undermine it at the drivethru at rally's? Had I screwed up and fell into a bucket of bra hooks, only to come up smelling like a rose?
Guess not.. Or maybe. To t his day I will tell you that there is NO way that Oswald pulled off those shots in Dallas. On the other hand, people will tell you that Armstrong landed in a warehouse in the midwest. or that Area 51 has aliens. Or even one better; that Hitlery can make a stand on something and stick with i t, even after the opinion polls say her numbers went down because of it. Hey, if the shoe fits..
So, with a grain of salt, I soaked this in...
Great news for girl watchers: Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out" declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby.
Dr. Weatherby and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so. The study revealed that after five years, the chest-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease.
"Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation," explains Dr. Weatherby. "There's no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthier." "Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."
Well, this explains my old re-occuring dream of having Lynda Carter chasing me. It does not explain why I grind my teeth during the dream. I guess I'll have to leave that one to a posse of shrinks..
Oh well, thanks for busting (pun intended) my bubble...